Tag: self belief

bereavement · friendship · grief · Inspiration · parenthood · relationships · self care · self development · self love

A little like you…

The real Kaz4 Comments

I think I got my confidence from you. I’m guessing, ‘cos it doesn’t run through mum’s side of the family. Women on mum’s side are shy, anxious, still strong but worry about the world and what will happen when they’re gone. I have that less, so I guess that may come from you, at least I hope. It comforts me to think I can recognise some of your traits in me.

I’m told you were confident, you could strongly voice your point of view. You weren’t scared to speak up in a crowd and enjoyed a debate or two. Ok, so I can’t quite say that’s me, but what I will say is true, I have a strength and desire to break through this shyness and speak my truth. Maybe I wouldn’t have had that with out you as my dad. Maybe I would just have accepted that this was who I am and sat back.

I like to think It’s from you that inner determination runs through me and I hope now I’m wiser and more confident, you can see that too. I know you loved books, loved to read, poems too. I can definitely say I love the written word too.

I try and remember you from when I was young but the memories are foggy, untrustworthy. Is it a memory or a story I’ve been told about you? I’m unsure. I want them all to be memories but there are only a few of which I’m really sure.

The scent of your roll up tobacco from a Golden Virginia tin box, that you would sit and roll out with, your legs crossed. Dressed in old work jeans but with a shirt that never really seemed to match. Then I remember your smile, when a glimpse of me you’d catch.

I wish my kids got to meet you, damn I wish I had more time with you myself, but my kids would have just flourished with your guiding hand or advice instead. Maybe I would have had more strength to make changes with you by my side but I’ve learnt to harness my own courage and sometimes I just know you are there as my guide.

Almost like you are standing right behind me with a hand on my shoulder, nudging me to be brave, do the hard thing, that’s when I feel you. When I have a choice that is difficult, just willing and whispering in my ear to chose the tough road because that leads to growth and change too.

Telling me to stand strong.

Don’t give up.

Shoulders back, head up and you won’t go wrong.

I’m thankful for the parts of me that are from you. It helps me to feel you are close. Through these rough times I would have loved to have you here with me, to know you were beside me taking care of me but you are within me.

I am your daughter and that is enough ‘cos that means I’m tough!

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Be proud of yourself

The real KazLeave a comment

for the progress others see, but more importantly what they don’t.

I see the way you are standing tall today, the confidence in your walk, the sparkle in your eye. You are rocking it girl and so you should be.

Keep shining, be proud. Look at how far you have come!

People think they know your struggles, they pass comment on how strong you are to get through. The biggest obstacle though has been inside you. The biggest change has been the transformation within you, the growth that allowed life to finally change. No one knows what that took, except you.

Your inner dialogue, your courage to challenge your own insecurities and the chains others tried to bind you with. The cage you were being forced into was making you miserable. The guilt you were wading through from yourself and those around you, expecting you to behave a certain way and tread the line for the sake of everyone else’s happiness.

Because your own happiness doesn’t count?

You know that the best way to empower your daughter is to show her what brave and strong looks like. Show her that her mum is not gonna put her happiness last and neither should she. Lead by example because she is watching and sees how much her mum values herself and allows others to treat her. She doesn’t know it yet but just watching you is helping her embody that and you are improving her self worth and respect.

Be so proud of that….

It’s like a light switch flicked and you suddenly saw your worth, isn’t it? You recognised that the past does not define you, your mistakes were lessons to learn and forgave yourself and others for it all. You saw that the way others behave is their choice and their journey and all you have to control is what you do moving forward, who you become and what lessons will be learnt, by you.

And my goodness, you have learnt, flourished and are transforming. A work in progress with no limits to where you can go. Life changing challenges, make room for dramatic growth. Very often it can be painful and traumatic but an undeniable fast track way to grow and rebuild your internal and external life.

So the woman you are becoming is confident and aware of her flaws but also knows her growth game is strong. She knows her own value and finally is ready to walk away from what isn’t recognising her worth. It has taken a lifetime to get here, but now that lesson has been learnt and is no longer on repeat, watch how you fly!

You have taken that pain and ran with it, examined that hurt and sat with it, analysed it and worked through it to figure out yourself and that alone is something to be proud of. So many people would have numbed it, distracted themselves, found a way to avoid it.

Shoulders back, head held high, look life straight in the eye.

Be Proud!

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Remember Your Worth…..

The real KazLeave a comment

That’s the game changer

You forgot you’re worth there for a minute didn’t you? That’s ok. It happens but time to fix your hair, stand up tall again, dust yourself off and remember what you deserve. Let that smile shine through again, bring that sassiness back out and show the world who you really are.

Get up, look life in the eye and stop wallowing in self doubt because you know how much you have to give and how strong you are, don’t you? Look at all you have been through. Look at what you are still overcoming and after everything that has been thrown at you, this has the power to bring you down? Not today girl. Not happening! Stop allowing other peoples actions, feelings, opinions or struggles to bring your own insecurities out. Get up.

Forget what is going on with anyone else. That is their journey and you know you can’t fix them. That’s not your job. So stop repeating the same lessons over and over and take control of your own journey again, with both hands and your big girl pants on!

Time to gain perspective again, bring it back to the here and now and how flippin’ amazing you are!

Take a deep breath…

..and remember, whenever those feelings start to creep back in repeat after me “I will no longer accept less than I deserve” and mean it.

Something amazing is coming. I know you can feel it. You have so much potential and you are ready to bring it all into fruition but you can’t do that when you are hanging onto past hurt and regret. You wont be able to hold onto it. Let go and make space for it in your mind, heart and life. Adjust your mindset and turn back up the positively awesome meter.

When your mindset shifts, watch what happens. Life is going to change for the better.

Enjoy the ride.

I believe in you!

Rachel Platten – Fight Song

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Name one thing you love about yourself?

The real KazLeave a comment

How long does it take?

If you are anything like me, you will find it harder to think of something you love about yourself than list the things you would like to change. We are generally so much more critical of ourselves than of others. We can pick out all the physical attributes that we want to change instantly but when we need to pick what’s wonderful about ourselves the list is very small or non existent.

There is a feeling of being conceited and self centred if we love our bodies too much, a fear others will think we are big headed and vain, when in reality we should be encouraging such self love in our children. Loving our bodies and leading by example to teach our kids to embrace their differences and talk openly about what is great about themselves and others. That kind of open positive self talk fosters a level of self worth and confidence which will mean they know they are worthy of respect. We will be bringing up children who are not ashamed of how they look, who others will find it difficult to tread on, stifle or belittle because they love them selves enough not to stick around and put up with that kind of disrespect.

When I was a young woman if I had the money, I’m pretty sure I would have looked into getting a breast enhancement. I felt I was small and found it embarrassing because society had convinced me that being more voluptuous was womanly, sexy and more attractive. I lacked confidence in myself and this seemed like a way to solve my confidence issues. Off course I can see it wouldn’t have been and would I have done it if I was able? I’m not sure. Now as a 47 year old woman I can say I am so thankful I never went down that route. Thank goodness I couldn’t afford it! I now love myself just as I am and I genuinely mean that (physically at least), it’s not just me joining the self love bandwagon, its something I’ve worked on and strived for. The only difference between now and the 20 year old Kaz though in reality is confidence and a small but slow growth of love for my body.

That growth in confidence affects the way you carry yourself. When you don’t like how you look very much you shrink and hide and you emit an energy of self doubt. When you feel more self assured there is naturally better eye contact and more smiles and laughter. You are more relaxed and with that, when asked what I love most about myself, I would have to say my smile. I realise that I love my smile more than anything and once that happened others noticed it too.

I have the same smile I had when I was in my 20’s, its no different but back then, I was less confident, looked down, avoided eye contact and my energy was of anxiety and fear. As I have matured, learnt, grown, my energy has changed, I’ve mastered the “fake it till you make it” vibe and I no longer hope no one will talk to me and feel self conscious. My smile hasn’t changed but my confidence and self esteem has increased and that has changed my energy. In recent years the number one comment I receive is “you have a lovely smile” and I can honestly say that never happened before I hit 40 years old and it is a testament to the fact that how you feel about yourself really does change your energy and vibe.

So my answer to the question what do I love most about myself?

My smile, but what I really love is the years of experiences and self development which built my confidence and self worth in order for me to allow my smile to shine through!

Now, what do yo love about yourself?