Simple Joys

15th Apr 2023 The real KazLeave a comment

What are 5 + 1 everyday things that bring you happiness?

When I first sat down to think about this question, I thought I was going to struggle to find things that put a smile on my face because at the time of writing happiness feels a long way off. Once I began though, it was quite easy to find 5 things and harder to limit it to five, so I haven’t, I just couldn’t! All very simple things that I know help me in some way to find a spark of joy.

1 – Connection with family and friends, the people that are important to me. Spending time with my family and close friends creates memories, establishes closer bonds and that relationship and connection is what life is all about. One phone call, visit, letter or even text from a person in your circle who cares is enough to lighten any burden. Research has suggested that social isolation can increase chances of death by 50% and is more harmful to us than obesity or smoking. It is not always what we first think of in terms of our quality of life but connection with others is essential to a fulfilling life. Contact your friends and family often and if you feel you are lonely, go out and volunteer, join a class, a club but go and find likeminded souls to connect with and talk too.

2: Books bring me joy. A beautiful book, is a thing to cherish. Because of this, I just cannot enjoy reading on a kindle or other such electrical readers. To read is to feel the pages for me, to have a physical copy of a book you love and cherish, dog eared and tattered is part of the joy of reading and the books that I love will always be with me. I dream of having my own library within my home. It will have stunning books, I can touch with comfy loungers to sit and read on. Peaceful and inviting. A place of knowledge, imagination, solitude and total relaxation. If that doesn’t happen (and it’s unlikely) reading a book sat by the sea, with a coffee, the next best thing!

3: Music will make me move to the beat, sing to the lyrics and if I’m in the kitchen with my daughter, dance and sing. That’s got to make you happy! I’ve said this before but music makes the soul sing, brings back memories and people and helps us to express emotions. Sometimes those emotions are hard but with out a doubt if you are feeling down and play your favourite happy tunes it will raise your vibe and release stress. So, much the same as books, when it comes to music, I have my old vinyl records that are very precious to me. They hold so many memories and are for me, better than all other mediums to play music on. I treasure my LP’s and singles and a Sunday afternoon listening to my old music on vinyl and reminiscing is heavenly.

4: Writing – Getting my thoughts down on paper, or journaling has always been therapeutic for me. More so of late and is now a daily ritual for me. It’s a process that helps you work through events in life, or just your day, deal with your feelings, leaving you feeling lighter and more in control. Once memories, issues, challenges, emotions have been written on paper it is almost like they have been released and are easier to deal with. I think the thought processes that go into writing can help reduce overwhelm and anxiety and make your priorities clearer. When it comes to writing I have a bit of a thing for notebooks. Addiction maybe a better word. I adore a notebook to write in, pretty ones, inspirational ones, big ones, small ones, beautiful ones, any really. Just a blank notebook with a pretty cover, waiting for you to make it yours, write, scribble, doodle, plan.

5: Running/ Exercise – for me my exercise is running and that brings together 3 of my favourite things actually, running, music and the great outdoors all in one go! Although any exercise can be hard to find the motivation for on difficult days, it ALWAYS makes you feel better after and usually during too. It brings a sense of achievement and on days when you have not felt you have been very productive, that is a bonus and some space to think about and process your day, which can help anxiety and low mood. I often, cry, smile, laugh and dance on my runs too!

6: The great outdoors – walks, hikes, the sea, lakes, jut being outside lifts the spirit. I especially enjoy time by the sea but if you are feeling stressed or anxious just going outside for a walk in nature will help reduce that. If its sunny you are also getting vitamin D which is great for your bones and immune system as well as again for low mood and worry. So lace up and get outside!

Inspiration · self care · self development

Soundtrack of your life

10th Apr 202314th Apr 2023 The real Kaz2 Comments

Music heals the soul

My last post got me thinking about the other passion in my life. Music. Why, because as much as writing is becoming therapeutic to me, music has been my therapy my whole life. I listen to music and it has the power to lift me out of a funk, take me back to a moment in time and motivate and inspire me. Music can also bring back painful memories and take us to places that are difficult, times and people we miss and remind us of loss. There are songs I find hard to listen to now because of how raw those memories are but with time, those songs become the soundtrack to our lives a reminder of times we cherish for many reasons .

I am the kind of person that needs to hear the lyrics. They are important. If a song is special to me I need to listen to what it is saying. If it resonates with me, it goes on my playlist. I connect to moments in my life through music. The song played at my sons funeral was “Thank you for the days” by Kirsty McColl. That song summed up how I felt. A gratitude for having had my son in my life, the lessons he taught me and memories of our short time together which I cherish. I didn’t want a song that was too sad, so it felt perfect. I couldn’t listen to that song for so many years without becoming emotional. Today I can and it makes me smile. Time is a healer.

Kirsty McColl – Thank you for the days

After my son, Jermaine passed away, I would listen to Angel by Sarah McLachlan. I can remember many a time curled up on my bed, crying, listening to the words. I needed that song to express how hard things felt at that time. The lyrics comforted me to think he was with the angels and by my side in my dark hours, which were plenty.

Angel – Sarah McLachlan

We all have a soundtrack to our lives don’t we?

Music makes me happy too, honestly! If I’m sad I play upbeat tunes which lift my mood, I dance round the kitchen and force myself to feel good. Ok, sometimes I crumble after but for a time it works and it has to be LOUD. My children are 13, 20 and 23 years old and they all constantly turn my music down. Total role reversals in our family. Ok I am a little deaf but I like to immerse myself in my music. I feel the lyrics. The amount of times I’ve got into the car with my kids and the music comes on as I had it the day before when I was alone: usually LOUD. The tuts and huffs and “you’re so embarrassing” comments.

When I drive my daughter to school and she wants to get out the car, I’m given “the death stare” which means – turn the music down before I open the door. I don’t want my friends hearing your uncool music! Funny though!

Then there is when I run, which I do 3/4times a week, there has to be music. I’ve tried podcasts and I’ve tried to run without music but the beat and the rhythm keep me going. When I run, I process my day, I cry, I dance, I feel and I look like a loony tune to people who pass me by, but it helps me. The physical exercise and music is a release. My favourite song to run too at the moment is “Never gonna not dance again” by Pink. I dance away whilst running and it puts a spring into my pace and usually helps me to pick up the pace for longer, which is always a bonus at my stage of life.

Pink – Never gonna not dance again

I recently found out from my older sister, my dad, who died when I was 8 years old loved to sing. My memories of him are sketchy if I’m honest but my sister told me she remembers him getting up on the stage at The Conservative Club they went to often and singing mainly Frank Sinatra songs. That makes me smile, to think maybe my love for music comes from him plus who doesn’t love a bit of Frank?

Recently going through my divorce, the situation required some strong woman vibes and empowerment. “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman would be on a loop on my playlist and many Beverley Knight songs. Beverley has an impressive “strong woman” vibe. Her songs just scream empowered woman and sometimes that’s just what you need in these situations. One that got tons of play and still does is “Made it Back” but also, “The queen of starting over”. If you’re a woman that needs something to make you feel you can take on the world, definitely go have a listen.

So to sum up I’d say the other therapy in my life is music. Music is SOOOO good for the soul, a great outlet for emotions and a way to hold onto memories and people, sometimes painful but often also full of happiness and love.

What songs would make the soundtrack of your life?