Tag: love

Inspiration · relationships · self care · self development · self love

Quotes to live by….

The real KazLeave a comment

Do you have a quote that you always end up going back to for a little pep talk? Is it up on your wall or stuck in the recesses of your mind, ready to be retrieved when challenges strike and some motivation is needed?

I love a good quote and when I finally reside in a home of my own, I’m sure it will be full to the brim of quotes that I can relate to, but the quote which I seem to go back to often in the last few years and that I wish I had taken more heed of over my lifetime is:

Why this quote? I remember the first time I heard it and how it resonated with me because I have always been very good at seeing the good in people, at giving people second, third and fourth chances, after all, we all make mistakes, no? I still believe this to be true. Everyone deserves another chance because we all learn, grow and change over our lifetimes.

But I know now that life has taught me some major lessons, to believe actions over words. If someone cares, they will show it. If someone is sorry, they will prove it. Changed behaviour is the ultimate way to apologise, words are way too easy.

So even though it is still very hard and goes against the grain for me, I will look at behaviour first because I am worth more than staying in a situation where I’m hoping that things will get better based on many conversations that seem to be honest and authentic but turn out to be continually repeated behaviours in a groundhog day style.

When you hope for too long and believe words and not actions, you are taken for granted. When a simple sorry is always accepted and behaviour isn’t changed, then a belief that you will always forgive and continue with the way things are is accepted. That is when you are living on dangerous ground because when one person believes a simple “sorry” is always going to be enough, then they will never need to make an effort to make changes. Why would they? You will never force the point, so they don’t need too, right? When you are in that situation its time to challenge behaviour, set boundaries and stick to them.

Make it clear that the only apology is changed behaviour. Set a timeline and clearly state what you will and won’t accept and what you will do, if those boundaries are not respected. Be the cycle breaker.

The other quote that is SO simple but really has helped me deal with anxiety and overwhelm since hitting perimenopause is:

Quite simply that.

For me hitting the stage in life where perimenopause started to affect my hormones meant I experienced anxiety and depression that I had never experienced in my life before. It ended in a mini breakdown alongside difficult life events that were piled on top of the hormonal changes, I just shut down and went from doing everything, to being unable to take responsibility for anything. Counselling and HRT have changed that but I still occasionally need reminders to take a step back and deal with one thing at a time.

This quote is a reminder for me when I am feeling overwhelmed with the to do list, the events in my life and my feelings to focus on the next thing in front of me. Simple and effective at reducing the pressure and amount of “stuff” I am feeling, thinking and worrying about needing to complete. It helps me to take action because focusing on one thing feels manageable. When there is too much to do, I go into the mode of “its all too much and I can’t do anything” and when I hit rock bottom about 5 years ago, I lived in that mode for way too long. So its a simple but effective reminder to do ONE thing before moving onto the next…..

Sometimes simple is the most effective way forward.

What quotes do you live by in your life right now? Why do they resonate?

friendship · Inspiration · relationships · self care · self development · self love

Count on me…

The real KazLeave a comment

When life throws shit at you, who do you turn to?

When all you want to do is get into bed and allow the pain you’re feeling to consume you, who do you know will help you dust yourself off and get back up on your feet? Who can you rely on to dry your tears, listen to how shit you feel and then give you that pep talk, the one that tells you how awesome you are whilst making sure that you have to come over for dinner because they “need” you for “something” but also know you will wallow and mope for far too long in bed otherwise. They know how you roll.

No, they may not be saying what you wanna hear. They may tell you the words that sting when no one else will. You may not want to reach out because you know you will hear the hard truth but if you need them, if they get a whiff of something not being right with you, the phone is ringing, texts beeping, or they will be on your doorstep and not going away until they know what’s going on and they’ve made sure you are taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

When you struggle to reach out for a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, when you think hiding how you feel makes you strong, those people in your life are lifesavers because they are the ones who will read between the lines. When they call and they can hear by the tone in your voice, when you don’t reply to a message, when they see you and notice more from what you’re not saying, that there is something wrong then they make it their mission to find out what that “something” is.

You don’t need many of these lifesavers. No. One in your life is a total blessing. If you are lucky enough to have more, be thankful because they are rare. They usually come from years of friendship, years of seeing you make mistakes, getting drunk together, experiencing setbacks, love and broken hearts and riding through life’s challenges and celebrations together until they know you inside out, what your weaknesses are, your soft spots, your triggers and how much you give to others. They know how you can be taken advantage of, how past relationships have affected you, why you are so guarded now and when you need to be told that what you have done or are doing is wrong, they will kick your butt back into line.

Today people come in and out of our lives so often, we move, change jobs, our families take priority, our time is limited and ultimately we outgrow people. A friend who carries on calling, doesn’t let distance get in the way of friendship, makes time and who most importantly grows with you is gold.

These kind of friendships are cultivated, like any relationship they need work, they need you to be there for each other and put the effort into having fun times together and sharing the difficult ones, they require vulnerability and are not demanding. Life is busy, we all have commitments and these friends don’t expect daily calls, they know that you will both be there when its needed and that life ebbs and flows and changes but that fact doesn’t change what you both know. That you have got each others backs when it’s needed.

So when you have established a lifesaver friendship, they stick around for the long haul and there is very little that can break that bond once it is created. Sometimes I think friendships like these are likely some of the most important relationships in our lives. Through thick and thin and through lifetimes where partners and other relationships fade away, they are there celebrating, laughing, crying and helping us piece ourselves back together.

I’m blessed to have a few and eternally grateful for these ladies In my life.

Thank you x

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

This too shall pass

The real Kaz2 Comments

Whatever you are going through, it feels like the world is ending and you can’t go on but remember this is a moment, a minut part of the great expanse of your life. This tiny piece of your puzzle is one of 1000’s that make up the complete picture and it has its part but it is just a piece. That full picture wouldn’t be the same, without this pain and what you learn from it will help make your picture perfect.

Every bad event that has happened in your life so far you have come through. Your track record for getting back up and carrying on is exemplary. This time I know it feels worse, the lack of control, you feel like you are suffocating with no one to help but you know if you are totally honest with yourself that’s because you have pushed everyone away. You need to let people in. You can’t do this alone. And this is one time in your life that you need support and that’s ok. You’ve been there for others, its your turn.

This is a minut moment………

It feels like you are being torn apart and that the pain in your head and heart is unbearable but I promise you this will not last.

Take a deep breath.

And another.

Cry if you need, sob, let it out, but what I need you to do is reach out to someone. I don’t wanna hear that there isn’t anyone. If you believe that then pick up the phone and call the Samaritans. I just want you to talk. Out loud. To someone who is not embroiled in your emotions because they are making you feel worse. Speak to someone about what is making this feel so painful, the anger, loss, disappointment, heartache, let it all out because all locked up inside of you it is doing way too much damage. Its festering and eating away at all the good thoughts, the kindness you have and turning into bitterness that is toxic. Let the poison out..

Be vulnerable. Stop holding it in, face it all head on and let your friends and family stand beside you and help. That is real strength. Being able to lean on others and let them help you pick up the pieces, that takes guts. Especially when you have never allowed anyone so closely into your darkness before. Feelings will not just go away, when you bottle them up, they don’t just disappear. They are there waiting for some way to escape, like a pressure cooker waiting for a release and it will happen, when you least expect it.

I know deep down inside there is a part of you that knows you have a lot to give. There’s a part of you that knows despite your mistakes you deserve to be loved and give love. It’s ok to get it wrong. We all do it. What’s important is that we learn and grow from it and become a better version of ourselves so we don’t repeat those mistakes. So learn. Say you are sorry, apologise, make things right but most importantly forgive yourself. I guarantee you when you clean yourself up and show everyone you are working on yourself, those who really love you will be SO proud of you and support you. Those who don’t, aren’t your people. Let them go. When the shit hits the fan, that is when you can really distinguish the people who should have a place at your table moving forward and those who are no longer getting an invitation to join you.

Learning and growth can be messy and painful but you are strong and it is a better pain than repeating this cycle, like Groundhog Day. It’s a pain with an ending, a pain that you will work through and come out the other side of ready to be there for others.

It’s worth it. It’s what you are here for.

So take a deep breathe, reach out and start healing. Face those demons. Stop fighting it. Show everyone how strong you are. Show your kids that with vulnerability comes strength. Lead by example and make them proud.

I believe in you. I know you don’t believe me but I do but it has to come from you.

Is it time?

Boat – Ed Sheeran

Inspiration · relationships · self care · self development · self love

Right person, wrong time…

The real KazLeave a comment

He was supposed to come into your life you know. You weren’t looking and neither was he, but your lives were meant to collide. You felt that spark, the connection, you could be yourself with him and he wanted you to be.

You spent many nights, talking, laughing, listening to music, learning about each others story and the people you are. The thing is the more you learnt, the more you connected and this unexpected crossing of each others paths, became something that you weren’t intending it too.

But life doesn’t make things simple. Once emotions take hold, you can’t pretend they never arrived. If so, things would be easier, so much simpler. If you could put them back in a box and go back to the beginning, would you let it play out the same again? Would you take it so much slower, be more careful with both your battered hearts?

The thing is you are both healing from heartbreak. You are both on a journey that’s at different stages but oh, if you were both in the right place, it would be a ride! You’ve felt it and hope he has too. That knowledge doesn’t help either. Right person, wrong time. That hurts because why would you wanna know that if this was 6 months, a year down the line it would work out? How does that help how you feel. It doesn’t. It just feels like a bad joke. That isn’t funny. Just sad.

Those feelings though, felt right and yes, maybe you both shouldn’t have let the “what will be, will be” attitude take over. The sensible thing, probably would have been to think a little more, take a bigger step back, but when something feels right that’s not so easy to do.

Instead you went a little deeper, opened yourself up a little more, in hindsight, too much, maybe. But you always go “all in”. You don’t do “half-arsed”, especially when it comes to feelings. You give it your all and then some, but that means if it doesn’t work out as expected, you hurt like hell too.

So yes, it seems, you shouldn’t have rushed in, that his heart is still healing and isn’t ready for yours. You are wishing you had reigned it in, just a little, just not given so much of your fragile heart out because now it’s in pieces.

Who knows, maybe, down the road, in a while, you will both be perfectly aligned. The timing, your healing, your journeys will be in sync.

For now, keep living girl.

Life goes on…..

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Positive Selfishness

The real KazLeave a comment

When someone describes you as selfish, it feels like a harsh criticism doesn’t it? There’s almost a recoiling of horror that someone could describe you as such. Being described as selfless, is less harsh but as a woman, I can say it often describes a way of living that is likely to leave you, used up, worn and rung out from giving so much to others: time, love and support. So why not work on being self-full? A place where you are making sure you are taken care of first and full to the brim so that you can give and support others without putting your own wellbeing at risk.

Self love is a term used widely and taking care of what you need first by loving your mind, body and spirit is essential for you to be there for others. Loving yourself does not require you to take love away from others, as is often believed, it means that you will be able to give more when you are taking time for yourself. Time for yourself can come in many forms, depending on what it is you personally require in your life. It may mean working out, eating better, meditating, taking time to be alone, doing what you love, setting boundaries or saying “no” when you need to. It may mean working on yourself, journaling, inner child work or therapy to heal your wounds.

Being selfish is described as “concerned excessively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on ones own advantage without regard for others”. Selfishness would mean you are putting others in harms way or last and that you were disregarding what is good for others to focus on yourself but that is not the intention here. The intention, just like the airplane rule of putting your oxygen mask on first so you can help your children, is that if you are full to the brim with what you need, you can do so much more for others.

Being self-full is positive selfishness and is in fact a generous mindset. If there is no water in your own well, you can’t give anyone else a drink either. Your own wellbeing and mental health is incredibly important for the quality of your support to your family. Some people in your life may view prioritising yourself as selfish but could that be because they wanted to be prioritised first, above you? Selfish?

You maybe prioritising others because it makes you feel good about yourself. It may come from a need to be wanted and liked, this may come from a wound within you that needs healing and addressing from your childhood or relationships in the past. If you feel like putting everyone else first, when it clearly was detrimental to what you wanted and your health has been an issue for you in the past, be honest and take a good look inward at why this is. Is it something you need to address from your past?

Or have the people around you made you feel guilty if you don’t put everyone else first? Do you feel pressure to be the glue that fixes and holds the family together, solves problems and keeps everyone safe and well. Who then does this for you?

Start to do this for yourself, show your kids by example that if they take care of themselves they will never be placing their health and wellbeing in someone else’s hands. Remember you won’t always be a priority to others, even those closest to you will have reasons and underlying motives for asking things of you. That is why you have to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself and become your own support system.

Your needs matter. Start meeting them.

Choose yourself, so you can then choose to be there for others.

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Magical Memories

The real KazLeave a comment
Three brothers together, having fun. Jermaine in the middle had cerebral palsy and passed at age 13 years.

Remember that time you giggled for the first time? Not just laughter but a full on hardcore giggle that was totally infectious and would not stop, for any reason, not at all. I though, stopped in my tracks. Was there something wrong? Were you having a seizure? I panicked. Most kids were laughing a long time ago. Why now? Shit. You just carried on though, full of beans. I waited, not sure how to react. Call an ambulance or giggle too? Slowly hoping, this was you having found your voice, your giggly spot. Then realising, you had! I cried predictably, happy tears, ecstatic tears, to hear my boy, laugh so heartily and enthusiastically, from nowhere. Zero to full throttle in giggles. Perfect. Then I told the world. Everyone I knew. My son laughed. Really laughed though, a proper belly laugh. Amazing!

That was a magical moment.

The joy of seeing you in the hydrotherapy pool. Those tight, contracted muscles, completely relaxed, the strain on your face would disappear and you were at peace with that huge grin lighting up your face, to say to all, this is heavenly, come on in! You communicated very well when you needed too.

Coming to pick you up from primary school not long after you had started, frantically hoping and praying you were ok. Then seeing you all snuggled in to your favourite teaching assistants chest. All cushioned into her bosom, that left mine to shame and you snoring away loudly, happily and contentedly. Not a care in the world. There you were telling me, its pretty good here mum.

Or the memories that give me the most joy of you and your two brothers. One, kissing you, the other wrapped around your legs. One holding your hand, the other wiping your chin. The three of you, just so in sync. They helped you when you were uncomfortable, repositioned you, sat you forward, talked to you and reassured you. You would look around searching for them and talk right back at them. Shouting when they needed it. You would give as good as you got. No it didn’t make sense, your sounds were unique but to the three of you, there was understanding and love. That memory is my favourite. What you taught and gave to your brothers in love and compassion and what they in return gave you was incredibly special to watch, as your mum.

So many magical memories I treasure.

But mostly I remember the feel of your hair, the sound of your voice and the light, mischief and strength of your spirit. I was so incredibly lucky to be your mum. Truly.

Thanks for choosing me.

Love ya!

Memories – Maroon 5. Remembering my boy Jermaine, who passed away 15 years ago today at age 13. Remembering the magical memories.

Inspiration · self care · self development · self love

Happily Ever After is not a fairy tale

The real KazLeave a comment

It’s a choice.

Stop falling for their potential.

You know, if they were gonna change, level up and become what you have been hoping for it would have happened by now, don’t you? I know, you’ve been hoping for so long, you don’t want to give up, but girl, do you still wanna be hoping in another 10 years? Do you wanna wake up and realise you are still in the exact same position a decade from now?

You see the best in people. Your empathetic nature wants to support and fix people. Someone who needs that is attractive to you but it also makes you blind to the red flags. When you are looking out for and caring for him, you are missing all the warning signs that everyone around you can see loud and clear. You want what you’re hoping for to be true and you create that truth in your head but you need to deal with the facts.

You cant help to fix anyone who doesn’t wanna be fixed. More love isn’t gonna do it. He has to take responsibility for his own journey. Walking away from someone who needs help is the hardest thing for you to do, I know. Its not in your nature and that is exactly why you have hung on so tightly, for so long but once you are out of the thick of it, I promise you will see more clearly how much of yourself you are giving away for something that will never be what you want.

If you stopped working so hard to fix everything, what do you think would happen? honestly? If the answer is nothing, then doesn’t that tell you a lot? Isn’t this all very one sided? Is he fighting for this as much as you are?

Yes, he maybe a “good” man but that doesn’t mean he is the man for you. You are growing, developing, working on yourself. You need someone working alongside you with the same self love and zest for life. You deserve someone supportive and willing to fight for you and what you have, work with you and on themselves. Stop allowing someone to give you less than you deserve.

Create space for someone who deserves you, to come and find you. You’re heart is holding so much space for someone who is not claiming it and there is no room for anything else right now.

You are worthy of a great love story.

Make space for a happy ending….

Inspiration · self care · self development

Simple Joys

The real KazLeave a comment

What are 5 + 1 everyday things that bring you happiness?

When I first sat down to think about this question, I thought I was going to struggle to find things that put a smile on my face because at the time of writing happiness feels a long way off. Once I began though, it was quite easy to find 5 things and harder to limit it to five, so I haven’t, I just couldn’t! All very simple things that I know help me in some way to find a spark of joy.

1 – Connection with family and friends, the people that are important to me. Spending time with my family and close friends creates memories, establishes closer bonds and that relationship and connection is what life is all about. One phone call, visit, letter or even text from a person in your circle who cares is enough to lighten any burden. Research has suggested that social isolation can increase chances of death by 50% and is more harmful to us than obesity or smoking. It is not always what we first think of in terms of our quality of life but connection with others is essential to a fulfilling life. Contact your friends and family often and if you feel you are lonely, go out and volunteer, join a class, a club but go and find likeminded souls to connect with and talk too.

2: Books bring me joy. A beautiful book, is a thing to cherish. Because of this, I just cannot enjoy reading on a kindle or other such electrical readers. To read is to feel the pages for me, to have a physical copy of a book you love and cherish, dog eared and tattered is part of the joy of reading and the books that I love will always be with me. I dream of having my own library within my home. It will have stunning books, I can touch with comfy loungers to sit and read on. Peaceful and inviting. A place of knowledge, imagination, solitude and total relaxation. If that doesn’t happen (and it’s unlikely) reading a book sat by the sea, with a coffee, the next best thing!

3: Music will make me move to the beat, sing to the lyrics and if I’m in the kitchen with my daughter, dance and sing. That’s got to make you happy! I’ve said this before but music makes the soul sing, brings back memories and people and helps us to express emotions. Sometimes those emotions are hard but with out a doubt if you are feeling down and play your favourite happy tunes it will raise your vibe and release stress. So, much the same as books, when it comes to music, I have my old vinyl records that are very precious to me. They hold so many memories and are for me, better than all other mediums to play music on. I treasure my LP’s and singles and a Sunday afternoon listening to my old music on vinyl and reminiscing is heavenly.

4: Writing – Getting my thoughts down on paper, or journaling has always been therapeutic for me. More so of late and is now a daily ritual for me. It’s a process that helps you work through events in life, or just your day, deal with your feelings, leaving you feeling lighter and more in control. Once memories, issues, challenges, emotions have been written on paper it is almost like they have been released and are easier to deal with. I think the thought processes that go into writing can help reduce overwhelm and anxiety and make your priorities clearer. When it comes to writing I have a bit of a thing for notebooks. Addiction maybe a better word. I adore a notebook to write in, pretty ones, inspirational ones, big ones, small ones, beautiful ones, any really. Just a blank notebook with a pretty cover, waiting for you to make it yours, write, scribble, doodle, plan.

5: Running/ Exercise – for me my exercise is running and that brings together 3 of my favourite things actually, running, music and the great outdoors all in one go! Although any exercise can be hard to find the motivation for on difficult days, it ALWAYS makes you feel better after and usually during too. It brings a sense of achievement and on days when you have not felt you have been very productive, that is a bonus and some space to think about and process your day, which can help anxiety and low mood. I often, cry, smile, laugh and dance on my runs too!

6: The great outdoors – walks, hikes, the sea, lakes, jut being outside lifts the spirit. I especially enjoy time by the sea but if you are feeling stressed or anxious just going outside for a walk in nature will help reduce that. If its sunny you are also getting vitamin D which is great for your bones and immune system as well as again for low mood and worry. So lace up and get outside!

Inspiration · self care · self development

Lighthouse

The real KazLeave a comment

I’m tired.

Tired to my bones.

Tired of being everyone else’s safe harbour. The one they come to for shelter in the storm. The protector, shield, that makes everyone feel heard.

Don’t get me wrong, I was born to steer my ship. Keep it sailing by nurturing all aboard her. I do not know how not too. I would be lost without her.

I’m strong. I can handle a lot. I can normally weather the strongest, raging storms but this one right now has been relentless. Every time I think it is easing it comes back with a vengeance. It has ravaged my crew and me and I am exhausted. I need a lifeboat myself. I’m embarrassed to admit it, almost ashamed but my ship feels like she’s sinking, very, very slowly.

I’m still here, supporting, listening, guiding but the tears won’t stop. I want them too. I don’t want the crew to have to see their captain failing and show my weakness. The 2nd in command has already been lost at sea, I want them to be able to rely on me, feel I will never let them down but right now that feels an insurmountable task.

They see my cracks, my mistakes, imperfections and vulnerability. I have no choice but to let those waters flow from my eyes. Impossible to plug the gaps, to prevent me sinking further.

They hold onto me tighter. Not for them this time but for me. To help me weather this storm. There is no abandoning ship as I thought, instead my tears are dried and not a word said. I can feel them stand taller, firmer and make a decision to be the lighthouse for their captain to guide her ship safely. Just for now, for a wee while.

I relax for the first time in an age, sink to my knees and let down my guard. Is it ok to let go of the helm and lay down? Just for a moment and recharge? Just for a time, I weep uncontrollably and on board this ship feel completely loved and safe. I cast my anchor down and I rest, I stop thinking of the ships needs, the crew and re-focus on myself. Completely, knowing it will be ok.

The storm clouds gradually disappear and begin to make way for rays of sunshine peeping through.

The crew hoist the sails and the ship keeps sailing, on and on.

Inspiration · self care · self development

Soundtrack of your life

The real Kaz2 Comments

Music heals the soul

My last post got me thinking about the other passion in my life. Music. Why, because as much as writing is becoming therapeutic to me, music has been my therapy my whole life. I listen to music and it has the power to lift me out of a funk, take me back to a moment in time and motivate and inspire me. Music can also bring back painful memories and take us to places that are difficult, times and people we miss and remind us of loss. There are songs I find hard to listen to now because of how raw those memories are but with time, those songs become the soundtrack to our lives a reminder of times we cherish for many reasons .

I am the kind of person that needs to hear the lyrics. They are important. If a song is special to me I need to listen to what it is saying. If it resonates with me, it goes on my playlist. I connect to moments in my life through music. The song played at my sons funeral was “Thank you for the days” by Kirsty McColl. That song summed up how I felt. A gratitude for having had my son in my life, the lessons he taught me and memories of our short time together which I cherish. I didn’t want a song that was too sad, so it felt perfect. I couldn’t listen to that song for so many years without becoming emotional. Today I can and it makes me smile. Time is a healer.

Kirsty McColl – Thank you for the days

After my son, Jermaine passed away, I would listen to Angel by Sarah McLachlan. I can remember many a time curled up on my bed, crying, listening to the words. I needed that song to express how hard things felt at that time. The lyrics comforted me to think he was with the angels and by my side in my dark hours, which were plenty.

Angel – Sarah McLachlan

We all have a soundtrack to our lives don’t we?

Music makes me happy too, honestly! If I’m sad I play upbeat tunes which lift my mood, I dance round the kitchen and force myself to feel good. Ok, sometimes I crumble after but for a time it works and it has to be LOUD. My children are 13, 20 and 23 years old and they all constantly turn my music down. Total role reversals in our family. Ok I am a little deaf but I like to immerse myself in my music. I feel the lyrics. The amount of times I’ve got into the car with my kids and the music comes on as I had it the day before when I was alone: usually LOUD. The tuts and huffs and “you’re so embarrassing” comments.

When I drive my daughter to school and she wants to get out the car, I’m given “the death stare” which means – turn the music down before I open the door. I don’t want my friends hearing your uncool music! Funny though!

Then there is when I run, which I do 3/4times a week, there has to be music. I’ve tried podcasts and I’ve tried to run without music but the beat and the rhythm keep me going. When I run, I process my day, I cry, I dance, I feel and I look like a loony tune to people who pass me by, but it helps me. The physical exercise and music is a release. My favourite song to run too at the moment is “Never gonna not dance again” by Pink. I dance away whilst running and it puts a spring into my pace and usually helps me to pick up the pace for longer, which is always a bonus at my stage of life.

Pink – Never gonna not dance again

I recently found out from my older sister, my dad, who died when I was 8 years old loved to sing. My memories of him are sketchy if I’m honest but my sister told me she remembers him getting up on the stage at The Conservative Club they went to often and singing mainly Frank Sinatra songs. That makes me smile, to think maybe my love for music comes from him plus who doesn’t love a bit of Frank?

Recently going through my divorce, the situation required some strong woman vibes and empowerment. “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman would be on a loop on my playlist and many Beverley Knight songs. Beverley has an impressive “strong woman” vibe. Her songs just scream empowered woman and sometimes that’s just what you need in these situations. One that got tons of play and still does is “Made it Back” but also, “The queen of starting over”. If you’re a woman that needs something to make you feel you can take on the world, definitely go have a listen.

So to sum up I’d say the other therapy in my life is music. Music is SOOOO good for the soul, a great outlet for emotions and a way to hold onto memories and people, sometimes painful but often also full of happiness and love.

What songs would make the soundtrack of your life?