Positive Change

The one biggest positive change I’ve made in my life in the last few years is to start to take full responsibility for my life and my decisions. Previous to that I would always want someone to give me their approval when I was doing things. I’d ask for my family view on something I’d like to do, or friends, or even colleagues who barely knew me and if I met with even the slightest disapproval, I would accept it probably isn’t really for me. Even when I felt disappointed by their opinion and felt they didn’t understand my dreams, It would make me doubt that this was the right path for me and I would allow it to be slowly pushed to the side. I never trusted myself, my intuition, my gut to know what was right for me and I think that as women we need to begin to trust ourselves more.

Society has a way of dissolving this inner guidance system. It leaves us doubting ourselves and feeling guilty for doing what is best for ourselves until eventually we just follow “the rules” of how we live and what we are supposed to do with our lives. Lets face it women who challenge these societal expectations can often be seen as “difficult” and “challenging” but are they? Aren’t they just testing the status quo and pushing the boundaries to allow those following behind them less restrictions and limitations in their lives?

Accepting others views as more important than our own gives all of our power away and leaves us living a life that everyone expects of us or that benefits others but not ourselves. I think many girls and women fall into the trap of living their life this way through society’s conditioning that we are here to look after others, we shouldn’t be challenging or argumentative, we should be there to support and nurture and look good but our opinions, hopes and dreams are to be put on the back burner whilst we assist out partners and children to achieve their goals. If we deviate from these expectations we are seen as irrational, bossy, hormonal, unhinged, eccentric, selfish and so much more for not following the traditional pathway of career, partner, marriage, kids, homemaker, nurturer etc…

I have learnt at 48 that we should trust ourselves more. Go inward and stop looking for approval outwardly. Follow your passions, whether it takes you down a traditional path or not, teach the next generation, earlier on than we may have learnt, that it’s ok to be selfish, to live your life as you wish, to become a woman in a male dominated career, to decide not to have children, to never marry, to build your own business, to take risks, be loud, take up space, be unique, wild and crazy without it being a negative.

Women may not be able to be everything to everyone but they can be exactly what they want to be for themselves. Lets show young women this through example and support.

For everyone, life is short. Be true to your passions and trust your gut to lead the way. Your gut knows. Start to hone your intuition, listen to it and how situations make you feel and let it be your guiding system to navigate decisions and situations you are unsure about as well as jump into opportunities that feel amazing to you! Lets cheer on the women in our lives, support our sisters in their life choices and make it the norm, for us to all follow different paths that celebrate our differences without guilt and shame.