Overthinking,

The art of creating problems, that weren’t even there.

So its has become clear to me throughout my life but more so in the last year how much I value clear honest communication. I am an overthinker. If someone isn’t clear in what they are saying to me, if there is the tiniest bit of uncertainty in what they mean or they leave things left unsaid, my brain will fill in the gaps left by ambiguity. It will literally come up with complex scenarios based on my past experiences that may not have involved anyone in the conversation.

I realise honesty can be tricky sometimes, for fear of hurting someone and yeah, sometimes its painful but nothing is more painful or confusing than dealing with the daily scenarios that can go round an overthinkers head, that are probably untrue and can be avoided with a clear conversation.

If like me you are a sensitive overthinker or empath you may also be picking up on peoples energy. When you feel something isn’t right, someone is nervous, annoyed, agitated or unsure but it isn’t openly communicated that is an opportunity for an overthinkers mind to take over and work its magic. The brain begins to go over every possible scenario as to why the person they are with is feeling uncomfortable, looking for ways to prevent hurt, pain, disappointment but really the truth would be the best way to prevent those outcomes.

Someone who overthinks a problem, probably believes they will eventually find a solution but an overthinker will worry and ruminate on the problem creating uncomfortable emotions with no solution in sight. A problem solver however, would be focusing on productive action and ultimately a way to fix the problem, both have two very different mindsets. I’m sure we have all experienced a problem that we are unable to stop thinking about and know how that feels. It can be all consuming and the mental energy can leave you drained and with little in the tank left to take action and possibly improve the situation. Looking for a solution and positive action is clearly a better way to focus your energy and look after your own wellbeing.

If you know overthinking is an issue for you, try distraction as a way of keeping it at bay. Rather than sitting and dwelling, go and do something to take a break from your thoughts, go for a walk, bake a cake, read a book, whatever works best for you. Sometimes that is enough to get yourself focused on something more productive and away from those negative thought cycles.

It has helped me recently to really challenge what I’m thinking. So simply ask yourself “Are these thoughts based on fact?” “What do I know to really be true?” This can be enough to give me some perspective on the situation and look at what is real and what is a story in my head that I’m replaying.

Practising meditation is a skill that has helped to clear my mind and combat overthinking. Just 10 minutes of meditation can have a positive impact on your thought processes and with practice you can learn to use breathing and bring your thoughts back to a positive place. As little as 10 mins meditation a day can create a practice that helps you create more balance and control over your thoughts.

Ultimately having an awareness of when you are overthinking is really key to stopping it in its tracks and then you can use some of the techniques above to challenge your thoughts, distract yourself and overcome it.

Stop worrying about the what if’s and focus on what is in front of you. Be present and grounded and live for the moment. That is when you will find real happiness, right here and now.